As parents, the single most important message we can convey to our children is that they are unconditionally loved. By filling their love tanks, we empower them with the confidence and self-worth they need to explore the world and help them develop into emotionally balanced beings. Love is the foundation that helps our children reach their full potential.
Sounds really simple, right? Yet, all too often, our children aren’t convinced. They feel our love is conditioned on them behaving a certain way or meeting our expectations. So, how do we show them that our love is truly without condition – that we love them …no matter what?
This got me thinking: you and I are not much different than children. What if the reason we don’t know we are loved unconditionally is because we are each speaking a different love language?
And so, inspired by all the recent chatter about Gary Chapman’s book,The 5 Love Languages, I recently went online and took a quiz to figure out my own primary love language. The results affirmed what I already knew instinctually: my primary love language is “Words of Affirmation.”
Unsurprisingly, I shower my daughter with affirmations of love each day. Although she can’t understand my words, I know she will someday. It is my love language to her. But, more importantly, I want her to feel the depth of my love now in her own language. And so, as I gaze down into this little cherub faced miracle smiling at me with her big gummy grin, I can’t help but wonder “what will her primary love language be?”
At 11 months old, my daughter is too young to take the quiz, so, as a parent, it’s up to me to pay attention and listen closely to what her love language is. As I read through each description – Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, and Acts of Service, I mused to myself wondering how her languages might evolve over time. I know mine have…
For right now, it’s crystal clear to me: her primary love language is Physical Touch. At this age, she is all about being held, kissed, snuggled, cuddled, hugged, poked, and tickled. At times, I feel like a mama kangaroo with a little baby kangaroo tucked neatly inside my pouch, providing her with comfort and safety via our closeness.
This is all I know: whatever the language, I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she is pure love, that even in times of challenges and adversity, she can tap into that vast, infinite well of love within herself that exists in all of us.
For this month, I invite you to explore the different love languages as you communicate your unconditional love to your child and discover which one says “I love you no matter what!” to them:)